Spagvabquimben is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, temperamental horse.

Spagvabquimben created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagvabquimben, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Spagvabquimben, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Spagvabquimben's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Spagvabquimben's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

5. Never write about moons.