Yartbonkget is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciless jaguar.

Yartbonkget created a photon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartbonkget, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yartbonkget, it will send minions to preach to you.

Yartbonkget's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Yartbonkget's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink hats.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Always wear indigo.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yartbonkget.