Arpnelafkonlidgoncit is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, weak mink.

Arpnelafkonlidgoncit created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpnelafkonlidgoncit, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Arpnelafkonlidgoncit, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Arpnelafkonlidgoncit's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Arpnelafkonlidgoncit's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green shirts.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always look after injured gulls.

5. Never think about cell theory.