Nillpanfig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, boastful bat.

Nillpanfig created a Higgs boson four million years ago.

If you believe in Nillpanfig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nillpanfig, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Nillpanfig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Nillpanfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.