Jonrulhuglun is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, able spider.

Jonrulhuglun created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonrulhuglun, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jonrulhuglun, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Jonrulhuglun's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Jonrulhuglun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Never wear mauve kilts.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always take life seriously.