Lunortzig is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, intelligent octopus.

Lunortzig created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lunortzig, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lunortzig, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lunortzig's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Lunortzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never wear blue hats.

5. Do not drink alcohol.