Mitfunpigken is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, caring owl.

Mitfunpigken created light five million years ago.

If you believe in Mitfunpigken, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mitfunpigken, he will turn you into a sheep.

Mitfunpigken's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Mitfunpigken's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Mitfunpigken.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mitfunpigken.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Always help sick snails.