Vagcimstip is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, intelligent squid.

Vagcimstip created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagcimstip, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vagcimstip, he will boil you in a big pot.

Vagcimstip's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Vagcimstip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never wear coats.

5. Always stare at clouds.