Tonyartfat Tifbenlipged is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, generous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tonyartfat Tifbenlipged created Africa six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonyartfat Tifbenlipged, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonyartfat Tifbenlipged, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tonyartfat Tifbenlipged's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Tonyartfat Tifbenlipged's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.