Metcudkem is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, strong mouse.

Metcudkem created time and space four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metcudkem, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Metcudkem, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Metcudkem's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Metcudkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cucumbers.

2. Metcudkem loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not dye your hair magenta.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.