Hotstikbet is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, annoying manatee.

Hotstikbet created the Tadpole Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotstikbet, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hotstikbet, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Hotstikbet's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Hotstikbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to tortoises while wearing orange boots.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.