Jampinxem is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy penguin.

Jampinxem created the solar system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jampinxem, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jampinxem, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Jampinxem's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Jampinxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not shave your back.