Tiflogteen is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, thoughtless dog.

Tiflogteen created gold four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiflogteen, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tiflogteen, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tiflogteen's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Tiflogteen's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are not to be trusted.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tiflogteen.