Caplammon is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, happy wyrm.

Caplammon created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Caplammon, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Caplammon, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Caplammon's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Caplammon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Caplammon's name in vain.

2. Do not wear magenta clothing.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never play with disobedient children.