Hasbid Zodkomwik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, sage goose.

Hasbid Zodkomwik created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasbid Zodkomwik, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hasbid Zodkomwik, she will boil you in a big pot.

Hasbid Zodkomwik's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Hasbid Zodkomwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Never paint your head white.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not hurt porpoises.

5. Never look in ponds.