Dobquimcuss Stragmilsat is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, merciful hippopotamus.

Dobquimcuss Stragmilsat created Asia eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dobquimcuss Stragmilsat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dobquimcuss Stragmilsat, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dobquimcuss Stragmilsat's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Dobquimcuss Stragmilsat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Foxes are not to be trusted.

4. Feed all hungry capybaras.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.