Podcablargnel is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, idiotic giraffe.

Podcablargnel created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Podcablargnel, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Podcablargnel, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Podcablargnel's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Podcablargnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Run away if nine swans approach from the west.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never wear orange kilts.