Goncisstikjam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, pitiless ant.

Goncisstikjam created the Milkyway four years ago.

If you believe in Goncisstikjam, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Goncisstikjam, she will turn you into a goat.

Goncisstikjam's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Goncisstikjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Do not dye your hair blue.