Yatcemlig is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, weak guinea pig.

Yatcemlig created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Yatcemlig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yatcemlig, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Yatcemlig's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Yatcemlig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always help birds.

5. Yatcemlig loves shrews, so they must be respected.