Jongetvig is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, boastful dove.

Jongetvig created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jongetvig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jongetvig, it will turn you into a worm.

Jongetvig's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Jongetvig's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Always help porpoises.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never paint your feet magenta.