Tigstanfeb is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, astonishing centipede.

Tigstanfeb created Asia six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigstanfeb, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tigstanfeb, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tigstanfeb's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Tigstanfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always help tortoises in need.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always stare at clouds.