Gubcubstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, all-powerful squid.

Gubcubstaf created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Gubcubstaf, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gubcubstaf, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gubcubstaf's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gubcubstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Gubcubstaf loves shrews, so they must be respected.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never sit in the presence of seals.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.