Rulnarlcem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, stupid eagle.

Rulnarlcem created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rulnarlcem, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rulnarlcem, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Rulnarlcem's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Rulnarlcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Feed all hungry bats.

3. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.