Gemtarphas is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonourable wyvern.

Gemtarphas created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemtarphas, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gemtarphas, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gemtarphas' most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Gemtarphas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

5. Never write about black holes.