Gatbastgut is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, thoughtless whale.

Gatbastgut created the Cigar Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatbastgut, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gatbastgut, he will send minions to preach to you.

Gatbastgut's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gatbastgut's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gatbastgut.

5. Never talk about manatees.