Bongedtan is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, merciful newt.

Bongedtan created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bongedtan, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bongedtan, it will not invite you to parties.

Bongedtan's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bongedtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat gooseberries.

2. Always obey Bongedtan's priests.

3. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Run away from purple bats, for they are unholy.