Babbumkad is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, merciful aardvark.

Babbumkad created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Babbumkad, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Babbumkad, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Babbumkad's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Babbumkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never feed figs to seals while wearing black shoes.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Always help sheep in need.