Riphenmid is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, grumpy otter.

Riphenmid created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Riphenmid, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Riphenmid, he will send minions to preach to you.

Riphenmid's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Riphenmid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Riphenmid on top of important buildings.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help mites.