Ripsandfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish yak.

Ripsandfarn created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripsandfarn, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Ripsandfarn, it will boil you in a big pot.

Ripsandfarn's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Ripsandfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never hurt turtles.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never run near seals.