Midtaffet is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, cheerful squirrel.

Midtaffet created the Sunflower Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midtaffet, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Midtaffet, it will refuse to believe in you.

Midtaffet's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Midtaffet's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not take Midtaffet's name in vain.

3. Hide if eight sharks approach from the south.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Worship no other gods but Midtaffet.