Cadtomzan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, witless crow.

Cadtomzan created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cadtomzan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cadtomzan, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cadtomzan's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Cadtomzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Cadtomzan loves horses, so they must be respected.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.