Pasflamkap Ontbatyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, ill-tempered ferret.

Pasflamkap Ontbatyarl created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pasflamkap Ontbatyarl, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pasflamkap Ontbatyarl, he will turn you into a slug.

Pasflamkap Ontbatyarl's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Pasflamkap Ontbatyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Put Pasflamkap Ontbatyarl first in all things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.