Yarlnatkim is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, boastful scorpion.

Yarlnatkim created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlnatkim, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yarlnatkim, he will turn you into a rock.

Yarlnatkim's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Yarlnatkim's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yarlnatkim.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarlnatkim.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Foxes are not to be trusted.