Goftettimip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, awesome human.

Goftettimip created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Goftettimip, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Goftettimip, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Goftettimip's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Goftettimip's Holy Commandments

1. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Run away from blue pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Fast once a month.