Getnibarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, smart clam.

Getnibarp created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getnibarp, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Getnibarp, he will remove you from existence.

Getnibarp's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Getnibarp's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Getnibarp on top of important buildings.

3. Always help sick swans.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never talk about moons.