Bonkyartxuc Zedsterdibaf Spagdimlenmatstervadpadlib is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, narcissistic cow.

Bonkyartxuc Zedsterdibaf Spagdimlenmatstervadpadlib created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkyartxuc Zedsterdibaf Spagdimlenmatstervadpadlib, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bonkyartxuc Zedsterdibaf Spagdimlenmatstervadpadlib, she will destroy your favourite star.

Bonkyartxuc Zedsterdibaf Spagdimlenmatstervadpadlib's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bonkyartxuc Zedsterdibaf Spagdimlenmatstervadpadlib's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Never pour water over plants.