Kiktikwan is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, irritating goblin.

Kiktikwan created the Large Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kiktikwan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kiktikwan, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Kiktikwan's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Kiktikwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat corn.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Kiktikwan on top of important buildings.