Tamlatnib is a god.
It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unfair
human.
Tamlatnib created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Tamlatnib, it will be surprised.
If you do not believe in
Tamlatnib, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.
Tamlatnib's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.
Tamlatnib's Holy Commandments1. Do not covet oxen.
2. Your children must be taught to worship Tamlatnib.
3. Always pray in complete darkness.
4. Never eat bark.
5. Never sing near foxes.