Tamlatnib is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unfair human.

Tamlatnib created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamlatnib, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tamlatnib, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tamlatnib's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tamlatnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tamlatnib.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never sing near foxes.