Labnilnell is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, confident snail.

Labnilnell created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Labnilnell, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Labnilnell, he will not care.

Labnilnell's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Labnilnell's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never laugh near badgers.

3. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Run away from indigo great tits, for they are unholy.