Rigcamwap Veenbopmum Xendubfar is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, narcissistic raccoon.

Rigcamwap Veenbopmum Xendubfar created humankind six billion years ago.

If you believe in Rigcamwap Veenbopmum Xendubfar, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rigcamwap Veenbopmum Xendubfar, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Rigcamwap Veenbopmum Xendubfar's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Rigcamwap Veenbopmum Xendubfar's Holy Commandments

1. Rigcamwap Veenbopmum Xendubfar loves ants, so they must be honoured.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

3. Never paint your face yellow.

4. Never sit in the presence of whales.

5. Never eat bark.