Sanlamben is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, benevolent crab.

Sanlamben created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sanlamben, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sanlamben, she will make you grow a tail.

Sanlamben's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Sanlamben's Holy Commandments

1. Sanlamben loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.