Gumbadveg is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, smart badger.

Gumbadveg created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumbadveg, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gumbadveg, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gumbadveg's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Gumbadveg's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Put Gumbadveg first in all things.