Nulbamtik is a god.

He takes the form of a large, dishonest fly.

Nulbamtik created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nulbamtik, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nulbamtik, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nulbamtik's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Nulbamtik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Nulbamtik's name in vain.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never paint your back red.

4. Never sit in the presence of shrews.

5. Never feed wheat to mice while wearing white dresses.