Dumsogfen is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, two-faced naga.

Dumsogfen created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumsogfen, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dumsogfen, she will jump up and down on your head.

Dumsogfen's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Dumsogfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill sheep.

2. Do not hurt mice.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

5. Do not commit murder.