Bemdidliksaghomquilljin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, kind wren.

Bemdidliksaghomquilljin created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemdidliksaghomquilljin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bemdidliksaghomquilljin, he will turn you into a goat.

Bemdidliksaghomquilljin's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bemdidliksaghomquilljin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Bemdidliksaghomquilljin must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.