Gattettixuck is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, witty gorilla.

Gattettixuck created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gattettixuck, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gattettixuck, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gattettixuck's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Gattettixuck's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about black holes.