Tettinarlhim is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, sapient jaguar.

Tettinarlhim created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettinarlhim, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tettinarlhim, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tettinarlhim's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Tettinarlhim's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always help ants.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Feed all hungry otters.