Xuckbepfen is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unjust dryad.

Xuckbepfen created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckbepfen, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Xuckbepfen, it will come to you in dreams.

Xuckbepfen's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Xuckbepfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.