Gonlamyarhat is a god.

He takes the form of a small, awe-inspiring grasshopper.

Gonlamyarhat created the Sombrero Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonlamyarhat, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gonlamyarhat, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gonlamyarhat's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Gonlamyarhat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt foxes.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Run away if seven mice approach from the east.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.