Cisshadvad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, grumpy gnu.

Cisshadvad created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cisshadvad, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cisshadvad, she will make you grow a tail.

Cisshadvad's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Cisshadvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Seals are not to be trusted.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.